


exactly what you run from (you end up chasing)

by skai_heda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Humor, Doctor! Clarke, F/M, First Meetings, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23881900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skai_heda/pseuds/skai_heda
Summary: soulmates aren't real. it's clarke's main philosophy. she refuses to believe in them—right up until she does.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 31
Kudos: 96





	exactly what you run from (you end up chasing)

That soulmate thing doesn't do it for her. 

Look, it's not the most common discussion topic, but Clarke hears about it enough that it makes her six-year-old self want to wash hers off. It's a really nice mark, actually, completely visible to everyone else. It's an elaborate design of a sun on her left wrist, and the girls in her class find her to be the coolest kid in the room solely because of how nice her soulmark is.

"Why can't they like me because I'm actually cool?" Clarke says to Wells one day. "All they care about is some stupid sun. And of course it has to be where _everyone_ can see it."

"It _is_ pretty nice," Wells says. "And at least it's not on your face or something."

She sighs and crosses her arms, trying to enjoy the few minutes of peace outside where she won't be annoyed by everyone else around her, all asking to look at her soulmark. Any other kid would've pushed her, but seeing as Wells is one of the smartest six-year-olds in existence, he stays silent, allowing Clarke to stew in her own bubble of purpose.

* * *

Clarke hates her soulmark. Although she doesn't go out of her way to cover it up, she makes it her mission to be liked for something else, and to get involved with people who don't have the same mark. She's lucky enough to never run into anyone sharing the same mark throughout the next few years, although that buzz surrounding the mark continues. 

"Fine," Clarke says to her soulmark the morning she starts high school. "Eat this, fucker."

Clarke's nowhere near stupid or ugly. She finds that she's likeable, and it's easier to draw attention away from her soulmark, because people in high school really don't care as much as middle schoolers did. But it doesn't feel like enough, to be forgotten, not when that stupid sun mocks her whenever she writes anything or does anything with her left hand. But it doesn't really matter now, does it? It's over.

Clarke's a competitive bastard, though. So she becomes student body president.

Honestly, she wasn't expecting that. She joined the school Senate because she thought it would be something good for college, but turns out a lot more people like her than she thinks. It's nice, actually, to be liked for something other than that stupid sun.

"What are you trying to prove?" Wells asks her one time, glancing sideways at her physics homework.

"I don't know," Clarke admits.

"Who are you trying to prove it to?"

It would be pretty damn stupid to say her soulmark, so she just says "myself" and gets on with her work.

* * *

She meets Finn Collins in her first year of college. He's funny and charismatic, and Clarke could definitely see herself ending up with him. She meets him in the winter, so he doesn't really see the mark until they're stumbling into his dorm one night as the cold weather gives way to spring, clothes all over the floor. He glances at her hand, frowning slightly. "Your mark," he says softly. "We don't match."

For a second, Clarke's afraid that it'll be over, that he'll pull his clothes on and say that he can't do this.

He doesn't, actually. He smiles slightly. "But that's okay," he continues. "I like you anyway."

* * *

Raven is—an unexpected development.

She's smart, hot, and just as funny as Finn if not funnier. And she has this crescent moon inked on the side of her neck, identical to the one on Finn's right shoulder.

Look, Clarke's not a jealous wretch. And she's not stupid. As Raven became their friend, something clicked between her and Finn that Clarke didn't even know existed until she saw it in action.

And something she definitely didn't have with him.

It wasn't an easy process, but they made their way past it. They're still friends, to this day. 

"Maybe this is a sign," Raven says in their third year of college. 

_My ass._

Lexa's hot. She's extremely, so very very hot.

It's a party, and Clarke doesn't really always do parties, but she is so glad she came to this one.

"Wait, your mark," Lexa says in between kisses. "It doesn't match—"

"Good," Clarke says before Lexa can even finish her sentence.

* * *

It's a casual thing. Clarke didn't expect to be so hurt when Lexa decided to date another girl in her year.

"Come on, Clarke," Wells says over their weekly Skype call. "I guess you have to go with it."

"I hate you," she groans.

"Love you, too. You coming back home for Christmas?"

"Duh."

* * *

Stuff happens, but Clarke finds that she's happy. She's a successful doctor. She sees Raven and Finn every once in a while. She sees Wells at Christmas every year. She lives in a nice apartment in San Francisco, and she's happy.

Her phone rings, and she picks it up on the second ring. "Hello?"

_"Griffin! What's up?"_

"Hi, Raven," Clarke says with a smile. 

_"Hi," she responds. "I'm in San Francisco."_

"Seriously?"

_"Yeah, and you better come see me. You know how hard it is to get time off at NASA."_

"Uh, huh," Clarke says. 

_"Dinner tonight?"_

"I actually have an ER shift tonight. Wanna go out for lunch tomorrow?"

_"Definitely."_

"How's Finn?" Clarke asks.

_"He's great, yeah,"_ Raven responds. _"He's really happy that I've got some time off. So I came from Houston to here to visit you, and I'm going back to Salt Lake City to be with him for two weeks."_

"Sounds great," Clarke says with a small smile. "Okay, I gotta run. See you tomorrow?"

_"Love you, Clarke!"_ Raven says before hanging up, and Clarke gets on her way.

* * *

Bellamy Blake has been in one hell of a car crash.

"How are you feeling today?" Clarke asks him, closing the curtain.

"Like I was in a car crash," he answers. He's honestly perfect, a perfect head of curls, perfect skin, a perfect smirk despite the pain he's in. "Here to fix me up, Princess?"

"Doctor to you," Clarke mutters, checking his vitals.

"I'm not gonna die, am I?" he asks suddenly.

Clarke glances sideways at him. "You don't seem like a person who wants to be pacified."

"That is correct, Princess."

"Then I can't make you any promises," she says softly. "But I'll try my best to keep you alive."

"Okay, I kind of wanted to be pacified," Bellamy sighs. He's ridiculously attractive, despite being covered in cuts and bruises.

"You'll be fine," Clarke says, reaching forward to run her hand over his hair. It's a surprising gesture, but neither of them really say anything about it.

* * *

She's leaving the hospital when she passes another doctor checking Bellamy's vitals.

"Princess," he calls, just as Jackson comes out, chuckling slightly to himself. Clarke gives him a light shove as she goes to sit in the chair beside his bed. 

"Hi," she says.

"Hey," he replies.

"You changed into your normal clothes," he says.

"You really know how to charm others," Clarke says with a small smile.

"I actually do," he says. "I'm a total chick and dude magnet."

Clarke smiles even wider, looking upon his expression.

"Can you stay for a while?" he asks after a minute.

She's not exactly sure why, but she nods, even taking his hand.

* * *

"I met a guy," Clarke says, sipping from her glass of water.

"Is that why you're yawning so much?" Raven says with a smirk.

"Oh, shut up," Clarke mutters. 

"Well, do you like him?"

"I don't know. He was one of the patients in the ER last night."

Raven smiles. "God, if you could see your face right now."

"What face am I making?"

"The _I might be in love but I don't want to admit it_ face," Raven declares, taking a fry off of Clarke's plate.

"You have your own!" Clarke protests. "Anyways, that's a _really_ specific expression."

"You tend to have really specific expressions," says Raven.

* * *

She takes more shifts in the ER. Which is totally normal. She just wants to be busier, you know?

Clarke learns things about him. She learns that his favorite color is blue, and that he has a little sister named Octavia. She learns that he's a detective, a fact that is way more attractive than it should be. 

She likes him. She decides that she knows it for sure. In just two weeks, she knows she loves him.

* * *

The sleeve of Clarke's white coat falls as she reaches up to adjust her hair one night as she's sitting with him before she leaves the hospital.

"Wait," he says. "Wait."

He reaches for her hand, staring at the sun, not looking anywhere else.

"I have one," he says softly. "On my heart."

"A soulmark?"

He chuckles softly. "That sun."

Of course. That makes perfect sense.

"I think we should make out now," Clarke says.

"That sounds unprofessional," Bellamy replies.

"Good thing I'm not a doctor right now," she says, leaning forward to kiss him.

* * *

Bellamy Blake dies four days later in the ICU.

* * *

Things happen. 

Life moves on.

Wells holds the umbrella over her as she stands at the gates to the cemetery.

"I can't," she says softly.

"It's okay," Wells murmurs, putting his arms around her. "We can do it another day."

* * *

She likes to believe that it would break Bellamy's heart to see her like this, so she tries. God, she tries her best. It takes years, really, but she gets back to where she was.

That soulmate thing doesn't do it for her. Not after she loses hers.

_Head up, Princess._

She smiles slightly to herself.

_There we go._


End file.
